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    June 20

    失望至死,不如睏覺

    很是不懂控製自己的情緒
    所以幹脆讓它持續沉澱

    無聊至死
    不如睏覺
    一覺醒來
    通體絕望

    偶然的時候想起奶奶
    于是理所當然地想起在廣州第一天睡覺的晚上
    徹夜未眠
    隻是因為想唸奶奶
    可是當她在厠所摔倒的時候
    我卻難過得說不齣一句話
    隻是默默地扶起她
    我不會像姐姐那么貼心地和她說話
    也不會拿梳子為她梳理滿頭銀髮
    我隻是傻傻地站在那裏
    可奶奶卻不知道
    我的心正在痛得流淚
    眼眶濕叻我卻強忍住淚水
    無比厭惡自己的性格
    恨不得自己趕快死掉
    那天晚上,我髮短信告訴姐姐
    讓她告訴奶奶我很想她
    那個時候我真想扇自己一個耳光

    我在等待
    看自己對自己失望的底限究竟在哪裏
    還是會這樣痲木下去?

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